It Happens…

You know how sometimes you relinquish the pointless dodging and just accept what ever sh*t that comes your way, ‘course you know that no matter how much you try to shun away, you can never dodge the bullet.  I mean- NEVER. It seems that I’m always attracting brainless crap (like how honey is madly attracting bees, and maybe bears- I don’t know), and I can’t seem to shake them off! I am always the first target. I just have THE FACE for sh*t; whatever that means.

Did I feel indignant and hapless? ‘Guilty!’

Was I vehement in dealing with the pointless crap? ‘……’

Did I feel life was unfair, and why couldn’t it be someone else? ‘Totally.’

Constant self-proclaim princess whining? ‘Nah, not to that extent. ;P’

As the months passed, I have learned to laugh it off and be indoctrinated to the fact that I am just destined to be the target for sh*t stuffs. On the bright side, joking around with J on why, and how am I apt to attract brainless crap, can really be a great laugh!

And besides, looking around, I am sure other people receive more crap than I do. So, why should I be complaining? Nowadays, when sh*t comes my way, I just accept it. I don’t exact embrace it with a warm hugs and kisses (who does that), but, let’s just put it this way.. I am indifferent/ immune to these now.

So tell me how do you feel when suddenly all these sh*t are suddenly lifted off your shoulders?

Suddenly, ‘BBAAMM!’ they are all gone!

Oh boy, this feel is so wicked awesome! It was exhilarating! Clear cerulean blue skies and all that jazz… Rainbows and unicorns, and pastel coloured gumballs rained on my parade (Don’t judge)…

Because of certain circumstances, I was freed! It was so unexpected. I mean, I was all ready to just go through the sh*t, but now they are all gone! 😀

What have I learnt from this?

If you can’t beat them, join them! You will learnt to accept it sooner or later, and maybe, just maybe the Lord will just take all the horrible things in life and you will be so happy, ‘course it was so expected. It is these unexpectedness that brings even greater happiness! It can really make your day! Try it!

This definitely beats moaning and blaming your wretched hapless life. Life goes on- whether you are happy or not right?

So why not? ‘Cause…..

Food for thought! 😀

I Need To…

It’s already 2 months in the workforce…

There are some things in my life I need to change to break free from this wretched life I have.

I need to… Let GO!

I need to… LIVE for ME. Not for work, but for ME.

I need to… Do things I LOVE.

I need to… Sing. Sing praises to God.

I need to… Sing. Sing songs I love.

I need to… Bake. I find comfort in baking sweets.

I need to… Exercise.

I need to… Read.

I need to… Have ME time everyday.

I need to… Smile more.

I need to… Stop trying to be RIGHT. (Even though I am usually right- just saying…)

I need to… be HAPPY.

I need to… Change my perspective on things.

It’s definitely going to be hard. But… I need to TRY!

Thank God for the Haze

A few months ago, I watched Criminal Minds (Random? I know.). I can’t remember which episode it was, but I believe it was about tainted wine, causing drug overdose to its victims. Anyway, there was a scene I remembered lucidly. The scene goes like this:

It was dinner time. The table was set perfectly- with food and cutlery nicely placed. The mother (or was it the father) called upon the daughter to come down for dinner. The girl came down and was eager to start her meal. And the father said,’… You know better…’ The girl looked at her father with little vehement, closed her eyes, clutched her hands and prayed,’… thank you Lord for the food we eat. Thank you Lord for the air we breathe. Thank you Lord for the birds that sing. Thank you Lord for everything.’ With that, the family started their meal…

The grace the girl said before dinner really touched me. We are seldom contented with the things we have. The most basic element that enables us to survive- AIR, we (I mean, me) take it for granted.

I have never really taken these words ‘Thank you Lord for the air we breathe’ seriously. As long as I remember, air is something we breathe in everyday. I know that air is important for our survival- Duh. But I don’t really see air as part of my life as it is ALWAYS there. There is no lack of air for me, everyone has a fair share of it. (I don’t know if this makes any sense to you up till now.)

Anyway, ever since I came back from my vacation to Thailand (a few days ago), I was engulfed by haze. It was quite terrible. Even before the plane touched down, I could already smell the polluted air (or was it all in my mind, hmmmm….). Instead of being greeted by fresh night evening breeze as we headed out of the airport, we (BFF and I) were welcomed by blurry versions of the trees, roads, and vehicles. It was like our homeland was, and still is, in a zombie apocalypse! Ok.. ok… I’m exaggerating here. Haha..

I haven’t headed out since I returned home from my vacation…until today. I had a class at the local community centre, so I had to get my lazy ass out of the house and into the haze. I have asthma as a child, but it hasn’t really act up (thank God for that)… yet. But still, I was a little fearful that the haze might just aggravate it- with Pollution Standard Index (PSI) at its peak of 401. And true that, the haze has affected me a little. Walking to the community centre and back home has caused me to have slight sore throat.

(Or maybe I have the sore throat because I won’t stop munching on the goodies I brought back from Thailand… Hmmm…)

Anyhow, as I was walking home from the community centre with my facemask on, I looked up and saw no stars, probably blanketed by the thick haze hovering in the sky. In my whole life, I will always see a bright luminous yellow moon/crescent glistening in the dark sky, but not today. I was greeted by a fury reddish- orange crescent shining back at me.

Oh boy, was Mother Nature fuming at our self-seeking actions that harm our own environment. The red crescent was indeed really scary, like the end of the world was coming. Ok… I may be slightly dramatic here. But still, this shows that we have to do something to save our environment, no?

As a strolled back home (yes, I strolled in the haze, I was tired), I started thinking. What would happen to the animals in this haze? What will happen to the birds in the sky? Will they be able to sing again? What will happen to the stray cats and dogs that roam the streets and void decks? They have no N95 mask/ facemask to protect them from the haze. What will happen to the animals in the zoo? The elephants, the zebras, the otters, the giraffes, the sheep. Why would humans harm our own environment we live in?

Either way, I would like to thank God for the haze. Without this incident, I would not have appreciated the fresh air he has given me my whole life. So I would like to end off with this again:

Thank you Lord for the food we eat. Thank you Lord for the air we breathe. Thank you Lord for the birds that sing. Thank you Lord for everything.

We should learn to be grateful for the things we have.

(All pictures in this post are not mine)

Satisfied; Proud Moment

During this semester break, which officially ends today (Boo…), I did things which I had never thought I would actually do!

Bestie and I had actually set up a YouTube Travel Vlog channel featuring our recent travel experience! Since it was only launched last month, we only had a few vids up. But I am very sure more vids will be up when we continue travelling in the future.

In order to get the travel vids up, I had to learn how to use the video editing program. Being a super duper IT noob, I thought I would use all eternity to master it. But sooner than I thought, I have gotten use to it! Editing the travels videos we did in Port Dickson, Malaysia was fun, and not as tedious as I thought it would! (Do check the vids out- link down below!)

*Big accomplishment for an IT noob* *Proud moment*

Never in a zillion years could I see myself talking to a camera; in front of people who would walk pass you, and thinking to themselves ‘What in the world is this girl doing?’

Yup, I did that, alright! I got out of my comfort zone, and just do it! This travel Vlog experience has made me more confident, maybe not so confident, but hey, I’m getting there- SOMEDAY…

*Big accomplishment for a not so out-spoken person* *Proud moment*

Aside that, bestie and I have also launched our travel blog to go with our travel vlog!

Travel Blog: http://traveldiaries2.wordpress.com/

Screenshot of our travel Blog: Travel Diaries

Travel Vlog:  http://www.youtube.com/user/traveldiaries2?feature=mhee

Screenshot of our travel Vlog on YouTube!

If you are interested in travel, do check us out on our travel channel, and our blog! Do leave us comments on what you think of them!

Just a little thought:

If you have something in life that you want to try out, just go all out and do it! Make a change in your life! You may actually see amazing changes that you wouldn’t expect! ❤

I’m only fooling myself

3 months of daydreaming, and 2 months of self-debating if the daydream should continue. Finally, the debate was over yesterday evening. It was crystal clear to me that I should STOP daydreaming.

Most certainly, I felt a prick in the heart. I was shocked and overwhelmed for a moment, but I should have saw it coming. Shouldn’t I?Despite that, I need to move on, and focus on the real in life.

The real is that I have lovely family and friends. The real is that there are many people in the world in help of our help to survive. Wasting time on self-absorption, is just plain selfish. Why not use the energy to help and show some love to the people around?

Thanks goodness to my timid character, I was spared all embarrassment. Thank god I did not do anything on impulse- which is what I’m notorious for. From today onwards, I shall not think about it (or anything related to it) and look forward.

Just let nature take its course, what is yours will be, and no one in this world can ever take that away. But what is not yours, even if you fight and possessed eventually it, it will be gone sooner than you know it!

On the first day of 2012, I have finally woken up for the dream I had for 5 months! Thank God it’s finally over, and now I can spend my time and energy on other stuffs that make this world a better place- starting with being nice to the people who love me dearly!

2 January2012, is the date where I shall start to focus on the REAL in life. SOMEDAY IT WILL BE MY TURN. SOMEDAY…

2011 in review

Thank You all the readers who have supported my blog in secrecy! Thanks to the people from US and Greece, and not forgetting peeps from Singapore! Do leave a comment if you want to voice something! I would really love to see it! ❤

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,800 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 47 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Christmas Then and Now

Then…

Christmas was magical. The Christmas mood started roughly about 3 weeks- 4 weeks before Christmas. With all the excitement to get the tree out and well decorated. I still remember the joy of taking all the ornaments out of the storage and placing them on the tree one by one. I still remember the cute little reindeers, angels, Santa, baby Jesus statue, the three wise men statues, the manger (where Jesus was born in) of course, not forgetting the bright yellow star that always goes on top of the tree.

Then…

I was young, and much shorter (not that I’m any taller now), I always had a hard time get the bright star up on the tree. Being taller, my brother would always place the last piece of yellow up. The joy of seeing the well decorated tree lit up in the dark by the Christmas lights that were wrapped round it, was just so amazing. I was always so excited to show the lovely tree to my father when he got home from work.

Then…

I still remember my brother and I would quickly switch off all the lights in our home and hid behind the Christmas tree when we heard our father’s keys jingled along the corridor. As he entered, we would immediately switch on the Christmas lights to give our Dad a surprise. How happy and joyous Christmas was.

Then…

On Christmas Eve, we would go to my Aunt’s apartment for a Christmas gathering. There will be lots of food and cakes, and ice cream. The choir from church would also gather at her apartment and sing wonderful Christmas carols. Food and music during the festive season is just love.

Then…

The anticipation of the presents was killing me. My brother(s) and I would never, I mean NEVER, wait till Boxing Day to have our gifts all ripped apart. We would always do the gifts unwrapping on Christmas Day night. We would be all so excited to what our Aunts, Uncles, and parents had given us. We would envy each other when the gifts of the other were better. Christmas Day night was our self-declared Boxing Day. That night, the living room was filled with excitement and screams.

Now…

Christmas is not so magical. Christmas mood did not start a month before Christmas. The Christmas tree was left in storage for the past… many years. I have not seen the ornaments in ages. In addition, on Christmas Day night, the living room was not filled with screams and excitement. So how do I prepare for Christmas now that I am not all excited about the commercialised Christmas?

 

As I grow older, Christmas is not about the presents or the tree or the decorations. Frankly, I did not do much to prepare for Christmas. But I know it’s about preparing oneself for the coming of Christ. But was I ready/prepared for the coming of Christ this Christmas? I was busy with work, and holiday trips, and going out with friends. So no, I was not ready.

 

Comparing then and now, Christmas to me (then), was how the world sees it to be. Commercialised- all the presents, beautiful lights and the well-decorated trees. All these don’t represent the true meaning of Christmas.

 

Even though I was not prepared this Christmas, at least I know what I have to do to get myself ready for Christmas. Pray, and be in expectation for the coming of our Saviour. I will try again next year to be well ready for Christmas.

Happy Boxing Day everyone! 😀

 

The Little Things

Just a few days ago, I saw the most breathtaking view through my window. The ordinary view I saw everyday was all so lovely for that minute or two. The sky that blanketed over my neighborhood  was beautifully decorated with the most amazing fluffy white clouds I have seen in ages.

The view from my window overlooking my neighborhood

The view was so amazing that I just had to take a couple of photos! The clouds are just so pretty! I may sound like a little child, amazed by anything and everything- but isn’t small little things like this that we live for?

For that moment, I felt that there is everything worth living for. Through all the hardships- small and big, it is these small and beautiful things in life that cross our paths and keeps as going.

Ain't it just B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L; these clouds remains me of the clouds in the The Simpsons show (below)

The next day, as I was on my way to school, I was the most heartening thing. A elderly man was pushing his wheel-chair bound wife up the train. Upon seeing this, I just suddenly left a slight of hope that love (good) exists. All the things negative in life- betrayal, hatred, war, terrorism, bullying are all being blurred by this sight.

Elderly Couple (taken from the Internet)

There are many positives in life; we just need to put on the positive glasses on to adjust our vision in order to see them. In the midst of all things negative, hard, and unbearable, there is always something to live for. We need to stay positive-look for little happiness in life that motivate us to move forward!

LIfe is beautiful- it is up to us to make it wonderful

And so we are NOT that old, or are we?

Being 21- hey it’s just a number, no big deal. Well, yeah 21 is just a number. But as I look back at my life. What I have done, and did not do, I realized I am actually pretty old, considering the fact that I have something to look back to.

Just thinking back about my life in high school, I always have the urge to turn time around, and just go back to being 13 again. And re-living my years in high school once again. Oh man, what adventure is was in high school! Doing things that I never imagined I actually did! Stupid, crazy, ridiculous, horrible experiences, name it, and we have done them.

High school was the time of my life. Not so much in Junior College though, as life there was tough and stressful. Never liked my Junior College life- too competitive. Wasn’t my wisest decision at all. (side track)

I remembered in the 1st year of high school, my BFF and I was like a social outcast in class. No one like us (me actually,  not really her). We are always in our own world, not talking to the other girls in class. I remember clearly, once during Chinese class, we were so pissed with this super annoying boy, that I suddenly blared out, ‘SHUT UP!’ The teacher mistakenly thought I asked her to shut up. And was like, ‘What?! You ask me to shut up?!’ Oh man, I cannot believe I actually blared: SHUT UP in the middle of the lesson! Like- WTH?  HAHA.

In Shen Zhen for exchange. From the left: BFF, me at 15 years old

Outside the school Library. Clockwise: Dor, RP, XL, Me, HM

When we are still in the NeoPrint craze. From the left: BFF, me

Not to mention, my over- concern with my weight in my 1st year. I was on a serious no- food- for- 22 hours campaign. Not so much of a campaign, considering that I was the only active member participating! I literally went without solids for 22 hours. I skipped breakfast, lunch break, and only had like a 2 spoons full of rice, and some sides for dinner! How ridiculously stupid was I? I in the end, had loss so much weight, and my lightest mass was 37-39kg! RIDICULOUS!

Due to self- deprivation of nutrition, I nearly fainted on my way after church. That was when my eating routine, was monitoring by my nagging Mother. Haiz, Memories.

After all the incidents that have happened in my life- the good and the bad, I believe everything happens for a reason. If not for some petty events back in Primary School, I would have not known and be close with my now BFF. If not for my teacher in Primary School who placed me and her to sit together in classes, I too would not have gotten to know her. And if not for entering in the same high school, we would not have shared so many ridiculous memories together. And if not for having similar PSLE score, we will not be in the same class for 4 years all through high school.

There are soooo many if nots. If not for this, I will have not… …. Life has so many what ifs, and if nots. It is so fascinating to see how life can change because of events that happen in our lives. If we keep on pondering on the what ifs, how terrible and miserable our life would be. We will be dwelling on the past, thinking how things will be different, if we had done it differently.

We should not think of the what ifs, and look forward. For life starts anew every second. We can make a change in our future and not in our past. The second spend thinking of how things would be different, is a second lost to have a better future. For that moment could be put to good use to change.

So, back to the title, ‘ And so we are NOT that old, or are we?’

If we are always looking back, and thinking of all the times we regret or would like to change, we are old. WHY? Because we are so caught up in the past. Be it the glory days, or the days of our lowest point, we are still caught up in it. Why keep reminiscing the past, when we are living in the present- which will soon be a past if we do not cherish it?

However, if we keep looking forward and never turning back, despite the good and the bad, we see a whole life ahead of us- a horizon that never ends. And even being 70, we are still young. Because, as long as we are still alive, we can change things around. We can make a difference. We can make an impact. Good things will come, if we have faith, and never give up. So don’t look back and regret. Regret only brings sadness and pain, but looking forward brings hope and joy!

Having (good/bad) memories and always dwelling in regrets are 2 different things. So are we young or old? That is for you to decide.

Masks That We Put On

How tiring it is to have to put on a mask every single day when we encounter different people.

To our bosses, we put on a lovely pretentious smile to ensure that they are pleased with us- so that our paychecks are safe. To acquaintances, we are usually more polite, and well- manner(well that’s for me). To close friends, on the other hand, we (well-me) treat them like family.When we are angry, we flare out our anger in front of them, speaking our mind, and not afraid of hurting their feelings.

But to people we ain’t that close- we tend to keep them ‘happy’- saying all the right words and doing all the right actions not to please them (unless of course, that’s your boss), but to ensure that they are not provoked. I mean, one less conflict, is better than have 1 more. Life is more peaceful that way.

Having 1 more acquaintance, is definitely better than 1 more enemy right? Maybe not so. If you asked me this question a few months ago, I would definitely agree that 1 less enemy is way better. Who of the sane mind would want an enemy?

But in the process of ensuring we have 1 less enemy, we put on masks. We do things against out believes, and what we feel is right. We say things we totally do not mean at all or agree upon- saying those words for the sake of the other party’s ear.

I feel sick in the tummy just thinking about this. We are such a bunch of fake losers (including me- I’m definitely guilty as charged)! We try to suck up to bosses, boot lick anyone or everyone who are of benefit to us. We should be ashamed of ourselves! BUT of course, that’s life, one would say.

Well, life ain’t all about climbing the ladder to success. Life ain’t all about being Miss Popular. Life ain’t all about being someone you are NOT. What is life, when we aren’t true to ourselves?!

A recent event in my life made this point clear to me. In order to get a job done, we somethings have to act a certain way, behave in a certain manner. And for whom? For the person that will help us get the job done of course!

Frankly, I do not see a need to act that way or even behave in that manner. But however, the other party insists so. Reluctant- I had to do it to get the job done by the deadline. (By the way, I still have yet to do so)

I honestly don’t see a big deal. The task is so minor and really insignificant, that I feel the other party is making such a huge deal about it.

This entire act itself is a hoax! If I am only going to act the way I did for that split moment to get the job done, and the other remaining days of the year, I do not speak or even have a slight moment thinking about you. Then, why in the world would my actions actually impact you at all? Why? What is wrong with you?

Because of this, I feel like a total pretentious b___- doing things which are totally not what I feel I should be doing.

However, thanks to this event. I realized that the masks that I am wearing must come off (after I am done with this task)! No more will I suck up to anyone (okay, maybe my future superior at work). No more will I say things just to make the other person feel good, and in the process I made 1 less enemy.

What is the good of having so many acquaintances, when just a few close friends are more than enough. Acquaintances, ain’t going to help you in times of need. Well, to put it plainly, they might as well be enemies.

I remember a few months back, I got a complaint from my boss accusing me of something that I was obviously not in the wrong of. But to ensure as little tension between us, I just accepted whatever he said.

So now, I will try to be brave. To speak my mind. To stand up for my rights. Even it meant getting other people’s feelings hurt, or having a relationship turn sour. I need to learn to speak up, and defend myself.

Tear off the stupid pretentious mask, and start being ME, for god has created me and not some fake b___ who is not true to herself!