And so we are NOT that old, or are we?

25 Sep

Being 21- hey it’s just a number, no big deal. Well, yeah 21 is just a number. But as I look back at my life. What I have done, and did not do, I realized I am actually pretty old, considering the fact that I have something to look back to.

Just thinking back about my life in high school, I always have the urge to turn time around, and just go back to being 13 again. And re-living my years in high school once again. Oh man, what adventure is was in high school! Doing things that I never imagined I actually did! Stupid, crazy, ridiculous, horrible experiences, name it, and we have done them.

High school was the time of my life. Not so much in Junior College though, as life there was tough and stressful. Never liked my Junior College life- too competitive. Wasn’t my wisest decision at all. (side track)

I remembered in the 1st year of high school, my BFF and I was like a social outcast in class. No one like us (me actually,  not really her). We are always in our own world, not talking to the other girls in class. I remember clearly, once during Chinese class, we were so pissed with this super annoying boy, that I suddenly blared out, ‘SHUT UP!’ The teacher mistakenly thought I asked her to shut up. And was like, ‘What?! You ask me to shut up?!’ Oh man, I cannot believe I actually blared: SHUT UP in the middle of the lesson! Like- WTH?  HAHA.

In Shen Zhen for exchange. From the left: BFF, me at 15 years old

Outside the school Library. Clockwise: Dor, RP, XL, Me, HM

When we are still in the NeoPrint craze. From the left: BFF, me

Not to mention, my over- concern with my weight in my 1st year. I was on a serious no- food- for- 22 hours campaign. Not so much of a campaign, considering that I was the only active member participating! I literally went without solids for 22 hours. I skipped breakfast, lunch break, and only had like a 2 spoons full of rice, and some sides for dinner! How ridiculously stupid was I? I in the end, had loss so much weight, and my lightest mass was 37-39kg! RIDICULOUS!

Due to self- deprivation of nutrition, I nearly fainted on my way after church. That was when my eating routine, was monitoring by my nagging Mother. Haiz, Memories.

After all the incidents that have happened in my life- the good and the bad, I believe everything happens for a reason. If not for some petty events back in Primary School, I would have not known and be close with my now BFF. If not for my teacher in Primary School who placed me and her to sit together in classes, I too would not have gotten to know her. And if not for entering in the same high school, we would not have shared so many ridiculous memories together. And if not for having similar PSLE score, we will not be in the same class for 4 years all through high school.

There are soooo many if nots. If not for this, I will have not… …. Life has so many what ifs, and if nots. It is so fascinating to see how life can change because of events that happen in our lives. If we keep on pondering on the what ifs, how terrible and miserable our life would be. We will be dwelling on the past, thinking how things will be different, if we had done it differently.

We should not think of the what ifs, and look forward. For life starts anew every second. We can make a change in our future and not in our past. The second spend thinking of how things would be different, is a second lost to have a better future. For that moment could be put to good use to change.

So, back to the title, ‘ And so we are NOT that old, or are we?’

If we are always looking back, and thinking of all the times we regret or would like to change, we are old. WHY? Because we are so caught up in the past. Be it the glory days, or the days of our lowest point, we are still caught up in it. Why keep reminiscing the past, when we are living in the present- which will soon be a past if we do not cherish it?

However, if we keep looking forward and never turning back, despite the good and the bad, we see a whole life ahead of us- a horizon that never ends. And even being 70, we are still young. Because, as long as we are still alive, we can change things around. We can make a difference. We can make an impact. Good things will come, if we have faith, and never give up. So don’t look back and regret. Regret only brings sadness and pain, but looking forward brings hope and joy!

Having (good/bad) memories and always dwelling in regrets are 2 different things. So are we young or old? That is for you to decide.

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4 Responses to “And so we are NOT that old, or are we?”

  1. Joanne September 25, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

    That’s a good question to ponder over, haha! Well, but age is not an issue! More importantly is how we spend this entire life of ours… Afterall, memories matter most! We should ALL just LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLEST!!!!!:) woots!

    • giandeborah September 25, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

      Yes, agree. Having (good.bad) memories are good. But living in them, and getting so attached and caught up causes one to lose the present things that are happening around.

  2. XL November 13, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    hahah. This post was really funny, brought back quite alot of memories!! 😀
    ‘If not’ for knowing me, you will not have gotten influence by my habit of reaching school on the dot!

    • giandeborah November 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

      Oh please. On the dot? Don’t think so. Lol

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