Masks That We Put On

7 Sep

How tiring it is to have to put on a mask every single day when we encounter different people.

To our bosses, we put on a lovely pretentious smile to ensure that they are pleased with us- so that our paychecks are safe. To acquaintances, we are usually more polite, and well- manner(well that’s for me). To close friends, on the other hand, we (well-me) treat them like family.When we are angry, we flare out our anger in front of them, speaking our mind, and not afraid of hurting their feelings.

But to people we ain’t that close- we tend to keep them ‘happy’- saying all the right words and doing all the right actions not to please them (unless of course, that’s your boss), but to ensure that they are not provoked. I mean, one less conflict, is better than have 1 more. Life is more peaceful that way.

Having 1 more acquaintance, is definitely better than 1 more enemy right? Maybe not so. If you asked me this question a few months ago, I would definitely agree that 1 less enemy is way better. Who of the sane mind would want an enemy?

But in the process of ensuring we have 1 less enemy, we put on masks. We do things against out believes, and what we feel is right. We say things we totally do not mean at all or agree upon- saying those words for the sake of the other party’s ear.

I feel sick in the tummy just thinking about this. We are such a bunch of fake losers (including me- I’m definitely guilty as charged)! We try to suck up to bosses, boot lick anyone or everyone who are of benefit to us. We should be ashamed of ourselves! BUT of course, that’s life, one would say.

Well, life ain’t all about climbing the ladder to success. Life ain’t all about being Miss Popular. Life ain’t all about being someone you are NOT. What is life, when we aren’t true to ourselves?!

A recent event in my life made this point clear to me. In order to get a job done, we somethings have to act a certain way, behave in a certain manner. And for whom? For the person that will help us get the job done of course!

Frankly, I do not see a need to act that way or even behave in that manner. But however, the other party insists so. Reluctant- I had to do it to get the job done by the deadline. (By the way, I still have yet to do so)

I honestly don’t see a big deal. The task is so minor and really insignificant, that I feel the other party is making such a huge deal about it.

This entire act itself is a hoax! If I am only going to act the way I did for that split moment to get the job done, and the other remaining days of the year, I do not speak or even have a slight moment thinking about you. Then, why in the world would my actions actually impact you at all? Why? What is wrong with you?

Because of this, I feel like a total pretentious b___- doing things which are totally not what I feel I should be doing.

However, thanks to this event. I realized that the masks that I am wearing must come off (after I am done with this task)! No more will I suck up to anyone (okay, maybe my future superior at work). No more will I say things just to make the other person feel good, and in the process I made 1 less enemy.

What is the good of having so many acquaintances, when just a few close friends are more than enough. Acquaintances, ain’t going to help you in times of need. Well, to put it plainly, they might as well be enemies.

I remember a few months back, I got a complaint from my boss accusing me of something that I was obviously not in the wrong of. But to ensure as little tension between us, I just accepted whatever he said.

So now, I will try to be brave. To speak my mind. To stand up for my rights. Even it meant getting other people’s feelings hurt, or having a relationship turn sour. I need to learn to speak up, and defend myself.

Tear off the stupid pretentious mask, and start being ME, for god has created me and not some fake b___ who is not true to herself!

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