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Time

17 Sep

Time- could be something that is wanted or needed, or something that is a griping pain in the stomach; depends on your perspective.

Time passes by excruciatingly slow when you are waiting for someone who is late, or at a boring lecture when the teacher just goes on endlessly yapping away about how volcanoes are formed (like who cares?).

On the contrary, Time is wanted and needed (badly) when you are having a great time with friends, or when you know the time spend with a person is short lived.

And yes, how horrible it must have feel to be in a latter situation when you are desperately, trying all ways,  to cling on to every second of the day, to care for, and be with a person. For you know, Time is being an evil overcast lurking to pound on you and remove the person you care for the most from your life. You will never know when this will happen, all you know is that, soon, Time will tell… …

Jonathan was my high school crush, then the love of my life. We had great plans together. After college, we would travel the world, go places, and just enjoy the company of one another. We build a dream together, Our Dream- filled with cheerful love, and bliss.

Everything was perfect. It was an excellent time, to go on our adventure around the world. Then, ‘perfect’ timing. He just collapsed- together with the wonderful plan we had created. Jonathan had cancer- third stage stomach cancer. He had been putting it off, and not telling anyone, because he wanted to spend the last moments he had on our adventure.

From that day of his collapse, life for us were not the same. It was precarious, not only for him as a patient, but for me. For me to see his health deteriorate slowly and painfully every single day was like me stabbing myself in the heart a zillion times, and lived another day to repeat the same action of stabbing. It was a mental and physical torture.

He would always greet me with a warm smile on his pale dried lips and watery eyes. His once golden tanned skin had now turned into a yellow shade due to the less exposure in the sun. I had always wanted to bring him out on a picnic  or on a calm boat ride but the doctors and nurses forbade me to do so, saying he was too weak to be exposed outside.

Every day, I would be in the hospital. No matter how tired I was from work, I went there. I needed to spend every second Time had given me. I needed the moment, I wanted the moment with him.

There were some good times in the hospital too. We would reminisce about days in high school and college, on how he tried to woo me, and how I played hard to get. Then, we would laugh it off, and thought how silly it was to waste so much time, when we could just cut to the chase, and be with each other- because Time was just way too dear like that.

Alas, there were also moments in the hospitals when Time was morbidly unforgiving. Jonathan would suddenly blackout, and I would be on a panic mode with all cells in my body on high alert preparing for anything that would happen to him.

And when days like this happened, I would often bawl my eyes to sleep, in fear that when dawn approaches, nurses would find Jonathan dead in his sleep, and the incoming dreadful hospital phone call may just send me into the heavens along with him.

Months passed, and Jonathan was not getting any better. He was in the terminal stage of his illness. His days were numbered. He knew it, and without fail, he still puts on the most dashing smile I have ever seen.

One day, as usual, as I was walking along the same corridors of the hospital, it hit me… The smell of ‘hospital air’ is really contagiously saddening. It was like death awaits for any poor soul to be set free from the human body, and then ‘poof’- death engulfs the soul like a snake ambushing its prey.

No! I could not do this. I could not let Jonathan spend his last days in a hospital of death! He had not left that wretched place in a very long time. I had to get him out.

I sneaked him out of the hospital that day, and I told him that we would have one- just one normal day together. Just the two of us. We went to the jetty, and cruised  along the calm lifeless lake where we had our first date.

It was like Time was being benevolent, and reverted back to 7 years ago. That day was like any other fine looking day, but to us, it was the best day of our lives. 7 years ago, we would let the gentle current of the lake drift us slowly to nowhere. And now, 7 years later, Time has brought has us back to where it all begin.

I was seated at the rear of the mini boat, crossed legged, and arms wrapped around Jonathan’s shoulders, while he had his head resting on my lap, with his legs stretched out. It was silent. The whole time, he was looking at me, and I, at him.

Drifted by the current, and with him close to me, sad thoughts flooded my mind of what could possibly happen to him any moment. I was quick to hide it with a weak smile and I would look up into the sky to distract myself. I couldn’t let him see that his illness was killing me. Though, I was convinced, he knew.

We were at the lake for maybe an hour or two, but it only seemed like a minute or so. Time had decided to change its mind to be gracious, and it wanted to take it all back.

His body was icy cold. Then an autumn breeze blew in our direction. I saw him opened his mouth.

‘… I … ‘

‘Sshhh… I know… I know…’

With that, he closed his eyes, and the cool breeze took him away.

Then… I was alone on that lake.

‘… I love you too…’

I never knew when this would happen, but Time told me somehow. And I got to spend the final moments with him- for that, I thank Time.

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Everyone Can Be A Superhero

28 Apr

Everyone can be a superhero. You do not need to have magical or extraordinary powers to be one. You could be a humble physician or nurse who takes extra time to ease your patients’ fear and distress. On the other hand, you could be the patient who turned your healthcare crisis into a way to help, and enlighten others. Not forgetting superheroes that are very dear to us all- our mothers. They have painstakingly given birth to us, and protected us throughout our vulnerable years.

In my opinion, people who made a difference in someone’s life and changed them for the better are what everyone regards as superheroes.

Alas, this was not my story at all. I am no ordinary little girl when I was first born on this Earth- I have a super power. How, and why? It was probably in my blood. I did not choose for this to be bestowed on me, but it did. It did not seem like a gift but a horrible nightmare during my initial childhood years, all the way to my adolescence.

Ever since young I would rather be cold than hot. Weird- but so true. I loved the extreme cold and winter had always been my ultimate favourite time of the year. I loved everything about the cold- crystal glints on snow , icy ponds surrounded by green pines , naked trees and beautiful frosted leaves.

Unlike everyone else that is normal, I did not need ear muffs , scarves or gloves to keep me warm. I never wore a windbreaker even during crazy blizzard storms. Instead I wore what people would normally wear during the summer- shorts and tank tops. Many believed I was a freak of nature. How could anyone normal be so cold- resistant?

I had no friends at school, and teachers would always give me the judgmental eyes in class. My only friend was my pet dog, Woffy.

This discrimination went on for many years, up till senior high; when my life was changed and there was no turning back.

One hot summer afternoon in the month of May, on the way home from school, ultimate mean girl in the whole of Cantor High School, Liza Spurly, went a little too far.

‘Hey Ice Witch, what are you doing out in the sun? Aren’t you afraid you will be scorched by the hot burning sunrays? And what about you parents; haven’t seen them since last winter. Have they all melted just the snowman? Or did you freeze and hid them in your basement, FREAK! Haha… ‘Liza mocked.

To be mocked all my life since young, I should be well immune to all the rude and stark comments. However, that afternoon, I did not know what got into me. I could not control my anger! It seems like all the hardships and injustice that I was keeping within me flooded my brain, and all I could think of was to find a way to make them silent.

As Liza was still mocking me, I turned around. My fists clutched with fury, and angry eyes darted towards her; giving her my death stare.

‘Oh… Look everyone, Miss Ice Freak is all angry. I’m so scared… Don’t pique her. Haha…’

I could not hold my anger any longer. Seething with fury, I closed my eyes and charged towards Liza, pushing her to the ground. When I finally opened my eyes, I saw a frozen Liza Spurly! In the month of May, I actually froze a person; probably to death!

Rogue - rogue Wallpaper

I was in shocked! A chill ran down my spine, and for the first time in my life, I actually felt cold- a feeling I do not want to feel ever again. Panic engulfed me. My legs were weak. I wanted to scream, but the shock of seeing Liza frozen solid, robbed me of my speech!

Just then, my mother drove into the front porch. She was mortified when she was greeted by the frozen ‘corpse’. Without wasting any second, she looked over her shoulders twice- as if checking to see if there was anyone to attest this scene. Then, she instructed me to help her carry Liza into the house.

On the sofa the frozen ‘corpse’ laid. My mother did something which you could only see on television. She breathed out fire. The flame from her mouth started to melt the ‘corpse’. Liza was revived by my fire- breathing mother.

I thought I was seeing things. My head was spinning. My vision was blurred. Blackout.

When I regained consciousness, my parents were by my side holding my hand.

‘Liza… She’s dead? I… I think I … froze her…!’ I murmured.

‘Oh, that mean old Liza Spurly is fine. She’s back home. Though she was persistent that you froze her, but don’t worry, no one believed her. Not even her own mother. The whole neighbourhood  thinks she’s delusional’, mother joked.

My parents then told me the whole truth. They have extraordinary powers. My mother breathed out fire, and my father could teleport to anywhere he wanted to go. I could not believe that my parents are ‘freaks’ too! They did not want to tell me the truth as they want me to grow up normally like everyone else. But they now know this is not possible. There is no way you can run away from your identity.

I was then transferred to the X-Men: School for the Specials. I found out that there were more people like me- some even weirder (in a good way)! Teachers at this school treated everyone equal. They taught students how to control and only use the gifts bestowed on them for goodness- to use the powers we have to help society and fight against crime and evil.

I learnt how to control my ice powers. I could freeze and unfreeze objects anytime I wanted! I had many friends just like me, and my dream is to work in the police unit to help fight against crime and catch criminals using my powers.

Who says superheroes only includes people who save the damsels in distress? I say this school, the teachers, and the classmates are my superheroes. They changed my life for the better. I was saturated with happiness, as if the whole world was on my side for once.

It was also in this new school where I met my soul mate. And another new chapter of my life has just began… …

Rogue "I Had To" - x-men-the-movie Wallpaper

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